I don’t care if it rains or freezes

As long as I got my plastic Jesus

Sitting on the dashboard of my car

Comes in colors pink and pleasant

Glows in the dark it’s phosphorescent

I take it with me when I travel far

Get yourself a sweet Madonna

Dressed in rhinestones sitting on a

Pedestal of Abalone shell

Going 90 it ain’t scary

Cause I got the Virgin Mary

Assuring me I’ll not go to hell

When I drive around at night

The cops they all think I’m tight

But they can’t find my bottle though they try

Two weeks ago on this day

They brought me in, why, they didn’t say

Now I’m waiting for my day in court

Get yourself a sweet Madonna

Dressed in rhinestones sitting on a

Pedestal of Abalone shell

Going 90 it ain’t scary

Cause I got the Virgin Mary

Assuring me I’ll not go to hell

Hey there Judge I’ve seen the light

My plastic Jesus guides my night

But he just looked at me and rolled his eyes

Son your idol’s full of gin

Your bible held cocaine again

And is this Joseph’s coat of many pills

Get yourself a sweet Madonna

Dressed in rhinestones sitting on a

Pedestal of Abalone shell

Going 90 it ain’t scary

Cause I got the Virgin Mary

Assuring me I’ll not go to hell

Now I’m back in prison again

No plastic Jesus as my friend

Though I read the bible every day

The day will come when I get out

I’ll jump and sing and praise and shout

Then fill my plastic Jesus to the brim

I don’t care if it rains or freezes

As long as I got my plastic Jesus

Sitting on the dashboard of my car

Going 90 it ain’t scary cause I got the Virgin Mary

Assuring me I’ll not go to hell