The Participant

First place is the best second ain’t too bad

Third’s still on the podium it’s kinda rad

At least that’s what I was told never felt it in the past

‘Cause anything timed graded or judged meant I come in last

First place is the best second ain’t too bad

Third’s still on the podium it’s kinda rad

Yes I grew up in the 80’s and I’ll always talk this way dude

But that’s not what I’m saying here today

Participation ribbons started when I was young

Got an award for showing up there was nothing I had done

And then I got a second and another that made three

Now look into my trophy case there’s just a sea of green

First place is the best second ain’t too bad

Third’s still on the podium it’s kinda rad

If I had a time machine this is what I’d do

Go back and say don’t give me a ribbon for adding two plus two

‘Cause now I got 500 and a life that’s just a mess

Trying to believe at 43 that I’m still the best

First place is the best second ain’t too bad

Third’s still on the podium it’s kinda rad

If it wasn’t for that drug test I took the other day

There wouldn’t be anything positive in my life to say

And although I sit in prison I’m too proud to be concerned

My probation violation is the one thing that I earned

First place is the best second ain’t too bad

Third’s still on the podium it’s kinda rad

The only thing my headstone could every really say

Is “he was a participant and then he went away”

If I showed up at the Pearly Gates this is what they’d say

“Nice try and thanks for playing” then send me on my way

But not before Saint Peter said I was the best

And pinned that green ribbon on my fuckin’ chest

Come on everybody get up and sing along

You can be a participant in the participation song

Come on everybody get up and sing along

You can be a participant in the participation song

Oh wait I forgot you don’t even have to try

Everyone gets an award for showing up tonight

Everyone gets an award just for showing up tonight